Reflections: My First Marathon

 

 

Yesterday, on October 15, 2011, I ran my very first marathon!  This has been a dream of mine for many years.  I wanted to run to test myself, push my body to the limit, and do something impressive.  What I didn't know is that it would be so much more than that.

 

I trained for about 7 months.  In the beginning, I wasn't running at all and had taken over a year off.  I knew I wanted to reconnect with running and began training for the Baltimore 10 Miler,then moved straight into marathon training once that was finished.

 

The biggest surprise was that the training experience turned out to be amazing for me.  It taught me that a systematic, progressive, calculated approach to an enormous task can make it perfectly achievable.  Seeing the increase in my fitness from week to week and watching my body chisel down to runner's silhouette was so rewarding.  My long Sunday runs became an anticipated, treasured time for me – a time to reflect and be alone and when, for a few hours, everything in the world would seem just right.

 

As I crossed major checkpoints in the process, my self-confidence began to grow.  I can’t say enough how much this process was about the evolution of my spirit!  I remember the day I ran my first 12 mile run– in 90 degree heat.  THAT was the day I realized I could do this and as long as I live, I’ll never forget it.  I’d been stalled out at the 10 mile mark for over a month, and when I pushed those last two miles, soaked in sweat, it occurred to me that I can actually do anything I want to do.

 

After that, the long runs went up, up, up.  15 miles, then 17, then 19, another 15 or two, then finally a grueling 20.   Each of those accomplishments were special in their own way, and each of them left me with a feeling that I started to become addicted to – a feeling that I had found my determination, uncovered a lost willpower and after many years of perceived failures, really started to believe in myself and be happy with who I have become.  I ran 500 miles, and every mile healed my soul a little more than the last.

 

The three weeks prior to the marathon were tough.  First, I was sick for a week, which stressed me out because it was supposed to be my last bit of training.  The next week I skipped some runs due to a car accident (we're fine) and other pressing issues. By the third week (the week before the marathon) I was jumping out of my skin and ready to run.  I had a few easy runs, then 3 days before the race I began to load up on 650g of carbs per day and drink lots of water.  Carbs are great,but carbs without fat?  Not so much!

 

Race morning was chilly and windy.  It took a few miles for my muscles to loosen up, but before long I was cruising.  Iran the first half in 1:58, and then began to panic.  I didn’t have a pace watch and was very concerned that I wasn’t saving enough gas for the last 6 miles, which were completely uncharted territory, like a big black void waiting to suck me in and spit me out on the sidelines. 

 

I began to pull back heavily and slow to a comfortable pace.  At 20 miles I ate a banana for fuel and took my last GU gel.  At 24miles, I hit “the wall”.  My feet began to feel like anchors and my legs didn’t want to move.  I was SO CLOSE to the finish that there was no turning back.  “Just get 'er done” I thought to myself.  I dug deep, pressed hard and found myself running the last couple miles with a giant smile on my face – after so many years, today was the day I was going to become a Marathoner! 

 

My feet hit the finish line at 4:18.  The feeling after that was a rush of excitement, pain, and an overwhelming feeling of "what now???" I would have liked to finish under 4:00, but at the end of the day I really don’t care about those 18 minutes.  It was 26.2 miles and I ran it with heart.  I saw it through, beginning to end,and I know that I am at the highest level of personal fitness that I could possibly be right now.  I tend to be painfully hard on myself, but today, I can say without a doubt: I am proud of what I did.

 

Room for improvement?  Absolutely. I’m 29 and healthy, so there is always room for improvement.  I think that improving my time will only better my determination and confidence, so I will aim to do that, and soon!  I am eyeing up the NCR Trail marathon in late November.

 

My final thoughts on the marathon are pretty conventional – it's everything I expected it to be and more. I knew that covering 26.2 miles would be a major accomplishment, but I was not expecting that I would actually begin to love and become addicted to running.  I need to run.  It makes me feel whole and centered and at peace.  My next marathon won’t be about proving anything, it won’t be about accolades, it won’t be about a bucket list.  It will be because, somewhere along the way, I became a runner.

 

After the Marathon

 

"There will be days you don't think you can run a marathon.

There will be a lifetime of knowing you have."

-Unknown